Ms Jasmine Tay

Engaged!

2011-11-10T18:59:00.003+08:00

With a bouquet of roses in hand, the sailor went on one knee and asked for the teacher's hand on Yacht Trillion Star.

Daniel Hu, thank you for making the proposal so memorable, despite the conspiracy with these people closest to me - my BFF Jan, your BFF Vic, 妹Cheryl, 弟 Terence, Mummy Tay, Daddy Tay and 妹's BFF/my ex-student Xiu Min!

We started a blog to 'pen' our journey from engagement as we plan and prepare for our wedding, check us out!
We're on twitter too, follow us! ;)

P.S. More photos when we get them from Vic, who was kinda like the 'official photographer/videographer' for the evening :)

The Carpenter's Tools

2011-10-26T23:49:00.000+08:00

I was preparing a little farewell gift for my form class when I stumbled upon this story which Pastor Kong shared some time back...

"Brother Hammer served as the chairman. The other members of the tool belt informed him that he must leave, because he was too noisy. But brother Hammer said, "If I have to leave this carpenter's shop, then brother Gimlet must go too. He's insignificant and makes a very small impression." (A gimlet is a small tool with a screw point, grooved shank, and a cross handle for boring holes).

Little brother Gimlet arose and said, "All right, but brother Screwdriver must go also. You have to turn him around and around to get anywhere with him."

Brother Screwdriver turned to the other tools in the belt and said, "If you wish, I will go, but brother Plane must leave too. All of his work is on the surface; there's no depth to what he does."

To this brother Plane leveled his terse reply, "Well, then, brother Saw will have to depart too. The changes he proposes always cut too deep."

Brother Saw complained, saying, "Brother Ruler will have to withdraw if I leave, for he's always measuring other folks as though he were the only one who is right."

Brother Ruler then surveyed the group and said, "Brother Sandpaper doesn't belong here either. He's rougher than he ought to be, and is always rubbing people the wrong way."

In the midst of the discussion, the Carpenter from Nazareth walked in. He had come to perform his day's work. He put on His tool belt and went to the workbench to make a pulpit. He employed the ruler, the saw, the plane, the hammer, the gimlet, the screwdriver, the sandpaper, and all the other tools. When the day's work was over, the pulpit was finished, and the carpenter went home. All the accusations against each of these tools were absolutely true, yet the carpenter used every one of them. No matter which tool He used, no other tool could have done the work better.

Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. (1 Corinthians 12:20-22 NLT)"

Loving those inside the house

2011-10-23T22:04:00.004+08:00

The sailor's out at sea again but I've got BFF for company to date God ;)
I still prefer attending service with him even though I am getting used to not having him around.
Anyway, service was at JW and it was awesome.
I was there at 945am, asked the usher for 2 seats and got seats 3rd row from the front; loved it! :D

1 Samuel 30:16-17, "16 And when he had brought him down, there they were, spread out over all the land, eating and drinking and dancing, because of all the great spoil which they had taken from the land of the Philistines and from the land of Judah. 17 Then David attacked them from twilight until the evening of the next day. Not a man of them escaped, except four hundred young men who rode on camels and fled."

God empowers us to help ourselves.
"If we face debts, we must labour and work hard."-Charles Spurgeon
Go after your enemies with everything you've got!

1 Samuel 30:18-20, "18 So David recovered all that the Amalekites had carried away, and David rescued his two wives. 19 And nothing of theirs was lacking, either small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything which they had taken from them; David recovered all.20 Then David took all the flocks and herds they had driven before those other livestock, and said, “This is David’s spoil.”

When we go in the name of God, God will do what He promised in Ephesians 3:20 (Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us)

1 Samuel 30:21-22, "21 Now David came to the two hundred men who had been so weary that they could not follow David, whom they also had made to stay at the Brook Besor. So they went out to meet David and to meet the people who were with him. And when David came near the people, he greeted them. 22 Then all the wicked and worthless men of those who went with David answered and said, “Because they did not go with us, we will not give them any of the spoil that we have recovered, except for every man’s wife and children, that they may lead themaway and depart.”

People were self-centred.

1 Samuel 30:23-25, "23 But David said, “My brethren, you shall not do so with what the LORD has given us, who has preserved us and delivered into our hand the troop that came against us. 24 For who will heed you in this matter? But as his part is who goes down to the battle, so shall his part be who stays by the supplies; they shall share alike.” 25 So it was, from that day forward; he made it a statute and an ordinance for Israel to this day."

David was loving people fervently, loving those in the house.
This means that IN-reach in just as important as OUT-reach!

1 Samuel 30:26, "26 Now when David came to Ziklag, he sent some of the spoil to the elders of Judah, to his friends, saying, “Here is a present for you from the spoil of the enemies of the LORD”

Elders despised David, but David became a better, holier man.
He reached 'in' to them.

1 Samuel 30:27-31, "27 to those who were in Bethel, those who were in Ramoth of the South, those who were in Jattir, 28 those who were in Aroer, those who were in Siphmoth, those who were in Eshtemoa, 29 those who were in Rachal, those who were in the cities of the Jerahmeelites, those who were in the cities of the Kenites, 30 those who were in Hormah, those who were in Chorashan,[a]those who were in Athach, 31 those who were in Hebron, and to all the places where David himself and his men were accustomed to rove."

David blessed 13 other cities!
Hence, IN-reach + OUT-reach = Destiny!

Exodus 32:9-10, "9 And the LORD said to Moses, “I have seen this people, and indeed it is a stiff-necked people! 10 Now therefore, let Me alone, that My wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them. And I will make of you a great nation.”

Exodus 32:31-32, "31 Then Moses returned to the LORD and said, “Oh, these people have committed a great sin, and have made for themselves a god of gold! 32 Yet now, if You will forgive their sin—but if not, I pray, blot me out of Your book which You have written.”

Moses loved his people so much he was willing to let his name be removed from the Book of Life.
It's easier to deal with 'new' people because we expect less.

Matthew 12:25, "But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand."

Satan knows how to destroy a home by snuffing out the love within!
God is never early and never late, He is always right on time!
Jesus specifically reached out to Simon Peter, who denied Him three times; He did not want him to be crushed.

John 13:34-35, "34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Jesus commanded us to love one another.

There 3 basic things about love:

1. Love is a choice.
Attraction and arousal is uncontrollable.
The more you choose to love, the more loving you'll become!
We choose to love!

2. Love is an action.
Love is a behaviour, not just a feeling.

1 John 3:18, "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."

Loving with actions when you don't feel like it is the highest form of love.
When we stop doing actions of love, we stop feeling love.

5 actions that produce love:
(1) Words of Affirmation
I must be tactful, not just truthful.
Tact and Tone go together.
Right + Rude = Wrong

Colossians 4:6, "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one."
Salt brings healing.

(2) Quality Time
The best expression of love = time
Dr. Chuck Swindoll said, “Busyness destroys relationships. It substitutes shallow frenzy for deep relationships. Busyness feeds the ego, but starves those who love us. It fills the calendar, but it fractures the family. Most people go around with a loaded life aimed at nothing significant.”

(3) Gift giving

(4) Acts of Service

(5) Physical Touch
Sex is everything the unmarried think about but the last thing the couple thinks about.
The culture is changing the way we view how sex should be, it's time to put God into sex.

3. Love is a habit.
1 John 4:7, "Dear friends, let us practice loving each other..."

Romans 5:5, "Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

We should let Jesus Christ love through us!

Yes Dan, we chose to love each other and we'll express each other's love languages to keep each other's love tank full!
Not forgetting loving God wholeheartedly and loving people fervently too! xoxo

Loving People Fervently

2011-10-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

The sailor's out at sea so I attended service alone. :|
It feels odd being at service with God :) but without him :(

1 Samuel 30:1-6, "1 Now it happened, when David and his men came to Ziklag, on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the South and Ziklag, attacked Ziklag and burned it with fire, 2 and had taken captive the women and those who were there, from small to great; they did not kill anyone, but carried them away and went their way. 3 So David and his men came to the city, and there it was, burned with fire; and their wives, their sons, and their daughters had been taken captive. 4 Then David and the people who were with him lifted up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep. 5 And David’s two wives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite, had been taken captive. 6 Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God."

In the above passage about David and Ziklag, David and his people had covered 40km a day for 3 days (think of your route march and you can imagine how tired they must be!).
They returned home to find homes on fire and families held captive.
David was also facing a rebellion too as his people wanted to stone him (v6).
However, God turned things around.

1 Samuel 30:11-12, "11 Then they found an Egyptian in the field, and brought him to David; and they gave him bread and he ate, and they let him drink water. 12 And they gave him a piece of a cake of figs and two clusters of raisins. So when he had eaten, his strength came back to him; for he had eaten no bread nor drunk water for three days and three nights."

David did not ignore the dying man but had compassion on the man.
He showed the man unexpected care and kindness.

1 Samuel 30:13-14, "13 Then David said to him, “To whom do you belong, and whereare you from?”
And he said, “I am a young man from Egypt, servant of an Amalekite; and my master left me behind, because three days ago I fell sick. 14 We made an invasion of the southern area of the Cherethites, in the territory which belongs to Judah, and of the southern area of Caleb; and we burned Ziklag with fire.”

What would you do when you meet someone who destroyed everything you considered your life?

Matthew 5:46-47, "46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?"

It is easy to love those who love us but we need to do more.
The love of God surpasses all understanding.

Luke 4:18-19, "18 “ The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.”

God wants us to show unexpected love, kindness and care.
The Egyptian felt more than pain and hunger, he felt abused and betrayed.

Matthew 22:36-39, "36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”
37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second islike it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’"

The bible can be summarised in two lines:
Loving God wholeheartedly (v36-37) and,
Loving people fervently (v39)

Christianity is about LOVE.

John 3:16-17, "16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Soul-winning is not to hard-sell God but to love people.
We are the 'light of the world', every time a soul is saved, the city becomes one soul brighter! We need to have compassion for a world without vision.

"Find a hurt and heal it. Look for a need and meet it."

Arise and Build is not about buildings but about building lives.
An old woman with fractured arm;
A 5-year-old with terminal cancer growing up in a brothel;
A 34-year-old mentally challenged lady was raped and found to be pregnant but gave birth to a healthy girl.
All these people were touched by God's people and eventually came to know God.

Perhaps, the reason why I exist is for the man who reached out and 'saved' me. ;)
More importantly, we exist to touch more lives and to bring more people to the House of God! :D

“And suddenly… But He was asleep.”

2011-10-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

"And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep." -Matthew 8:24 (NKJV)

Indeed, all may be calm then storms may 'suddenly' hit us, BUT do not panic for God knows of His plans for us!

Exceeding Wisdom

2011-09-18T15:39:00.002+08:00

"There are four things which are little on the earth, but they are exceedingly wise:

The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their food in the summer;

The rock badgers are a feeble folk, yet they make their homes in the crags;

The locusts have no king, yet they all advance in ranks;

The spider skillfully grasps with its hands, and it is in kings’ palaces."

-Proverbs 30:24-28

Wisdom is a gift from God. (See Proverbs 4:7 and Proverbs 16:16)

(1) Preparation

Ants - they are not strong but they have amazing tenacity (one can carry 10-50 times its weight!)
They are wise in preparation and always ready.

Ant Philosophy: During summer, Think winter!

Children, teenagers preparing for adulthood - they get as much experience as possible, it is all right to fall;
Young adults preparing for marriage - build up EQ, finances, etc.
More importantly, we prepare for 'eternity'.
We shouldn't live for earthly life.
Are you ready for future ministry in Heaven?
We need to seek the Lord with all our hearts (See Luke 22:9-12)
Seek God, be committed in church, serve people.

(2) Habitation

Rock badgers - very vulnerable, very timid and slow but vascular system is that of a whale!
It recognises its own weaknesses, hence builds its home in crevices of rock for shelters.

We have our limitations, make the rock our habitation.

On Christ, the solid rock I stand, all other grounds are sinking sand. (See Psalms 61:1-4)

(3) Unification

Locusts have no king - there is no one to guide them but they work together.

The place of agreement is the place of power.

The story of 'The Carpenter's Tools' was shared too! :)

We should not do things that God hates. (See Proverbs 6:16-19)
Satan wants to sow discord to conquer - he wants to divide us in God's house so that he can win us over.

(4) Determination

Spiders do not let go of what they grasp.
What we can learn from them is that the devil can try to sweep us away with trials and temptations but we will not be moved from where we want to be.
We shall not lose heart (See Galatians 6:9) but have faith and keep sticking to the promises of God!

On a side note, I read on and found a passage on being a virtuous wife. (See Proverbs 31:10-31)
Indeed, as we prepare for our wedding, I shall let God prepare me to be the sailor's wife! ;)

My God is a motion-sensitive God

2011-09-11T12:40:00.000+08:00

Yes, my God is almighty but He is not one who'll move mountains if we sit back and wait for things to happen.
When we move, He moves even more!

"One person gives freely, yet gains even more;
another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.
A generous person will prosper;
whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."
-Proverbs 11:24-25

As Daniel and I prepare for 25.11.12, we're going to keep sowing in the Lord and keep looking to Him for guidance :)

MIA

2011-09-08T12:50:00.000+08:00

Whoops, I haven’t been updating my blog.
I’ve been really really really busy! >.<

I'll be updating as soon as I find time.
In the meantime, some stuff that's happened…
8 Aug – 20 Aug: NCC UK Trip
28 Aug: Daniel's and my water baptism
30 Aug: CG Zoo outing
1 Sep: Teachers' Day dinner
2 Sep – 6 Sep: Vacation

Uh, yes indeed a lot had happened and I haven't had time to update!
Will do so soon…

not 'coincident', but 'God-incident'! ;)

2011-07-17T22:56:00.001+08:00

Yea Dan, we heard the testimonials at service today.
Our "chance"-encounter was not a 'coincident', but a 'God-incident' ;)
I'm glad you got me out of the 'mess', so that our lives can become a 'message' on 10.11.12! :D
And of course, our lives will shine for all to see... :)

"...'Cause every time you hold me in your arms,
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth.
Wherever you go,
Always know,
'Cause you make me smile even just for a while..."

By my side...

2011-07-15T08:15:00.000+08:00

On my wall, from Daniel :)
"I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.
Don't worry; I'll never let you go.
You're all I need, you're everything. :)"

wide sea, small boat

2011-07-13T08:56:00.005+08:00

I was reading 'A Cup of Comfort - Book of Prayer' this morning during morning assembly and some things struck me.

"Dear God, be good to me, the sea is so wide, and my boat is so small." - Breton Fisherman's Prayer

I'm really thankful for how God has helped Daniel and I progress in our relationship with each other and how we are progressing in our preparation for marriage. :)
We have the community behind us - our close friends, our family, our church. We have been getting contacts and referrals/recommendations for photographers, videographers, bridal gowns, venues.
I see our wedding as the sea - we have so many things we want to do, and our boat - our finances - is so small and we feel limited. :|
However, God will be good to us and I'm sure with our boat, we will cover the sea! ;)

I rejoice that He planted the seeds for His purposes in our lives.
We will continue to pray that God will speak to us as we continue with our 'work'; pray for us too :)

"He cares about the dreams of all who fear Him and works them out in their lives according to His will. He fulfills every promise, and His mercy endures forever." - Marion E. Gorman

Daniel, God did not promise us an easy journey, but He promised us each other, and as we walk with Him as a couple, He will bring us through from now to 10.11.12 and through the rest of our lives together! ;)

Thank you all for loving me/us! :D

2011-07-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

And so, I turned 24 over a few wonderful days spent with my loved ones (and his).

Our CG blessed us with birthday presents in colours we like :)

Daniel surprised me with a trip to USS on Friday, his birthday.

It was a really enjoyable trip, and I'm really thankful for such a 'ding dong' (like myself) partner!

Dinner was a simple affair with his primary school mates, followed by a jolly good session of singing!

They surprised us with a cake too - cuz our birthdays were just 4 days apart :)

The next day...

Daniel sprung another surprise, we finally checked out Planet Shark at the Singapore Science Centre.

We went for service at Suntec then for dinner at Villa Di Parma.
I'd expected a simple dinner for just us, but I was proven wrong...

There already seated in the restaurant were my best friends from secondary school!
Thank you for making the dinner even better :)

Sunday was family day.

I had steamboat lunch with his extended family.

Dinner was at Marina Barrage with my family.
Nothing grand, but I enjoyed the family time.

When the clock struck twelve on my birthday, Daniel appeared right by my bed with a cake in hand; my sis was there with her camera in hand to take photos of my "priceless" shock expression whilst my mum was trying to keep my excited dog quiet so I wouldn't be disturbed from my sleep.

Ms. A and a few other teachers surprised me with a mini birthday celebration in the staff room pantry.

Ms. A, Ms. A... How do we sail 'high'? :P

Dinner was yet another surprise with my college girlfriends! :D

Even my silly dog 'celebrated' my birthday with me! :P He was of course more interested in the cake than in taking a photo!

I'm really thankful to have had the chance to celebrate my birthday with all you important people in my life - best friends from secondary school and college, our CG, my colleagues, my family, and last but not least...
This man who's been planning all the surprises AND who can make me laugh everyday! :)

xoxo

We're really thankful we've got the 'community' behind us.

Next up, 10.11.12? ;)

P.S. I'll have a proper update of the days when I find time, school's pretty hectic now :(

LATEST Sec 111 2011 Semester 2 Timetable!!!

2011-06-27T10:38:00.002+08:00

These are the LATEST!!

If that's too small, you can access your timetables in the following google document. :)

It's a new semester, time to buck up and end the school year well!

Our 24th @ USS!

2011-06-24T23:59:00.002+08:00

Daniel turns 24 today and instead of me surprising him, he surprises me with a trip to USS! :D

Seeing the queues at the rides, I'm so glad he bought us these 'express passes'!
Really great for us to skip the queuing :P

We visited the differently themed 'lands'.

We took A LOT OF photos! :)

With loadsa silly poses too! ;)

These are my favourite from amongst the silly poses :P

Not forgetting the different characters we took photos with! :D

We did dinner with Dan's primary school khakis at Outram, then sang K to end the day.

They surprised us with a cake too :)

It's not quite "sailorve"'s birthday yet, but we get what they mean ;)

What did I get him for his birthday?

A Braun Buffel Wallet and a Braun Shaver.
Not my first time buying them for my boyfriend, but it's different this time round and Daniel knows why ;)

Happy birthday ah b!!

Oh yes...

The USS looks like a great site for our wedding shoot! ;)

Yes 'Romeo', I'm looking forward to 10.11.12!! :D

Sec 111 2011 Semester 2 Timetable

2011-06-22T17:28:00.005+08:00

Hello 111,
I have taken photos of your time-tables for the odd and even week:

If that's too small, you can access your timetables in the following google document. :)

Enjoy what's left of your holidays, I'll see you all on Monday! :D

'What the Modern Woman Wants' by Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen

2011-06-21T00:21:00.004+08:00

I got the following piece off a note from FaceBook.
And yes, the piece was beautifully written.

Singapore girl wins Commonwealth essay prize!

You will be amazed at the maturity of this 15-year old girl. It's worthwhile
taking 5 mins to read this essay.

A 15-YEAR-OLD Singaporean, competing against 16- 18-year-olds, has won the top
prize in a writing contest that drew 5,300 entries from 52 countries...

In the annual Commonwealth Essay Competition, Amanda Chong of Raffles Girls'
School (Secondary) chose to compete in the older category and won with a piece
on the restlessness of modern life.

Her short story, titled "What The Modern Woman Wants," focused on the conflict
in values between an old lady and her independent-minded daughter.

'Through my story, I attempted to convey the unique East-vs-West struggles and
generation gaps that I felt were characteristic of young people in my country,'
said Amanda, who likes drama, history and literature and wants to become a
lawyer and a politician.

Chief examiner Charles Kemp called her piece a 'powerfully moving and ironical
critique of modern restlessness and its potentially cruel consequences'. The
writing is fluent and assured, with excellent use of dialogue.
Amanda gets (S$1,590). A Singaporean last won the top prize in
2000, said Britain
's Royal Commonwealth Society, which has been organising the
competition since 1883. Singaporeans also came in second in the 14 to
15-year-old category, and fourth in the under-12s. Other winners included
students from Australia , Canada and South Africa.

===================================================

"The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down
the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be
kidnapped by the wind.

She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seat belt
tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused
fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, 'Fingerprints show very
clearly on white, Ma.'

Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile
phone using big words the old woman could barely understand.

'Finance', 'Liquidation', 'Assets', 'Investments'... Her voice was crisp and
important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it.

Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was
speaking in an American accent. The old lady clucked her tongue in
disapproval......

'I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimed
agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured
fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.

'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and
hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the
forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and
handed it to her daughter.

'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin.
'I have a big client in America . There have been a lot of problems.'

The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important.

Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was
thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic
look.

The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which
broke the awkward silence.

'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.'

Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered her
daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for 'networking',
Chinese ones being easily forgotten.

'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to
the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.'

Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her
daughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she did not comprehend.

'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!'

The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in
defence. The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost
garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof.

The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main
hall. Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and
reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's side.

'Ma, I'll wait outside.. I have an important phone call to make,' she said, not
bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.

The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down
solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.

'Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years.
Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in
this world could possibly want.

'She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too
clumsy to sew or cook. Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich
and handsome angmoh man.

'Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she
says... She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except
happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots
while reaping the harvest of success.

'What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room
in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I
affect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old
mother. It is my fault.'

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her
head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of
smoldering ashes.

She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for
thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the
temple and prayed that it was a son.

Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and
adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband
had ticked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or
carry the family name.

Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her
waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything
she ever wanted.

Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to
depend on a man. She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman,
the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become.

A woman with 'neng kan
'; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman
who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak,
precious pearls would fall out and men would listen.

She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up
and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood.

She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl to one who openly defied
her, calling her laotu, old fashioned.... She wanted her mother to be 'modern',
a word so new there was no Chinese word for it.

Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had
prayed like that. The Gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the
wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl's roots and
now she stood faceless with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by
only a string of origami banknotes.

Her daughter had forgotten her mother's value. Her wants were so ephemeral, that
of a modern woman. Power, wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques and yet
her daughter had not found true happiness. The old woman knew that you could
find happiness with much less.

When her daughter left the earth, everything she had would count for nothing.
People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman but she would
be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper
convertibles and mansions.

The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers
for her daughter now that she had looked out of the temple gates. She saw her
daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at
the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there –
down.

The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of
beehoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for worshiping
porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of
ceramic to fly to her aid?

But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that
she enslaved to and worshiped every day of her life.

Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshiped counted for
nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life
out of her and leave her, an empty souless shell at the altar.

The old woman watched the joss stick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey
stem that was on the danger of collapsing.

Modern woman nowadays, the old lady sighed in resignation, as she bowed to the
east bone a final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much
that they lose their souls and wonder why they cannot find it.

Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughter
outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her
daughter's face.

An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants
looking for the one thing that would sow the seeds of happiness.

They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the
highway, this time not too fast as she had done before.

‘Ma,’ Bee Choo finally said. 'I don't know how to put this. Mark and I have been
talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market
is good now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay us seven million for
it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a
perfect one in Orchard Road
. Once we move into our apartment, we plan to get rid
of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves...'

The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard.

'We'd get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out – but once
the maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully
lonely at home and, besides that the apartment is rather small. There won't be
space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for
you is if you moved to a Home. There's one near Hougang – it's a Christian home
and a very nice one.'

The old woman did not raise an eyebrow.

'I"ve been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with
gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! Hardly have time for you,
you'd be happier
there. You'd be happier there, really.' her daughter repeated as if to affirm
herself.

This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offering to cling tightly
to, she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from
a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat,
letting her shoulders sag and her fingers trace the white seat.

'Ma,' her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. 'Is
everything okay?'

What had to be done, had to be done.

'Yes' she said firmly, louder than she intended, 'if it will make you happy,'
she added more quietly.

‘It's for you, Ma! You will be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I
already got the maid to pack your things.'

Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.

'I knew everything would be fine.' Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated.
Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier...

She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of
happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted;
money, status, career, love, power and now freedom without her mother and her
old-fashioned ways to weigh her down...

Yes she was free. Her phone butted urgently, she picked it up and read the
message, still beaming from ear to ear.

'Stock 10% increase.'

Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her and while searching for
the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in
the backseat became invisible and she did not see her in tears."
-Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen

This made me wonder, am I a 'modern woman'?

'Money' - who doesn't want it? Of course I dream of being well-off and living in a big house, but I don't think I'd sacrifice my family/passion for that; my being a teacher (instead of a full-time tutor) is a reflection of that.
'Career' - I'm a teacher; although I love my job and do wish to climb the ladder, I'd still let it go for my family.
'Power' - What power is there in being a 'teacher'? I gotta stay long enough in the service and climb the ladder to "gain power".
'Freedom' - I don't think any woman can have total freedom; my mum once told me, "Before marriage, you're my daughter; after marriage, you're someone's wife. What freedom do you think you'll have?"
'Love' - I'd been through 3 dysfunctional relationships before finally finding Daniel, the one with whom I am going to settle down ;)

'Filial piety' is a virtue I value - I'm quite sure I want to take care of my parents (and his) when they grow old; after all, who took care of us when we were younger?

At the end of the day, I'm sure I want a "home" and not a "house". :)

Meeting my family and his friends! :)

2011-05-28T23:43:00.002+08:00

Daniel had dim sum brunch with my family and grandparents late this morning.
It was a good brunch, and what made things better this time round was the company - the people I love most (and who love me too) were there :D

We dropped Grandma, Mum and Sis off at Paragon before heading to Plaza Singapura to check out Couple Lab.
We took a fancy for this pair of rings :)

The caption to the above photo reads, "A ring is round and has no end! ;)" on Facebook.

As we had time to spare, we went to Love & Co. to check out wedding bands and proposal rings; my first choice for proposal ring is from Tiffany & Co., and he knows the design I like! ;)
Anyhow, it's so exciting to plan for the future!! :D

We then watched Kung Fu Panda 2 :)
I love that he loves watching movies too :)

We then met his poly mates for dinner at Outram, before heading to Mind Cafe for games.

'Ugly doll' was an epic start to the evening there! :)

Once again, we made faces and had 4 consecutive spastic shots taken.

And I just realised that our actions were pretty similar in the photos, we really think alike... ;)

We finally headed home to rest for a power-packed Sunday ;)

Meet the folks (II)

2011-05-28T12:10:00.000+08:00

Kayaking Orientation Programme

2011-05-25T17:25:00.000+08:00

Was at the MOE Changi Adventure Centre for a Kayaking Orientation Programme to get ready for an upcoming school trip with the Student Leaders.

I'm pretty excited about the trip which is happening 3rd to 7th June at the Paka River Camp! :)

And whee, I've got the sailor's navy shorts for company! ;)

Red bombs x2

2011-05-23T00:40:00.003+08:00

BFF and I were at Swissotel last evening to share Terence and Jamie's joy at their wedding dinner.
Daniel was there with me too, but I forgot a shot with him :(

We attended another wedding, albeit lunch, at Marina Pier this morning.

I found this interesting.

What a brilliant improvisation leading to such a pretty picture! :P

It's a military wedding - lovely! :D

The crew of RSN Brave; yes, more sailors!

But they don't matter to me, cuz...

This is my favourite sailor of all! ;)

Daniel surprised me with a movie of Pirates of the Caribbean at IMAX after the wedding lunch.
He's such a sweetie :)
We concluded the weekend with the wala gang over dinner.

What a blessed weekend - I get to spend it with the people I love! :)
I am especially thankful to Daniel for being such a great partner! xoxo

giving blood

2011-05-21T17:21:00.000+08:00

There was a blood donation drive organised by the CHCSA this afternoon...

My dear boy donated blood for the 4th time! So proud of him :)
I wish I could donate blood too (I'm a pretty rare O-), but I'm under the required weight of 45kg! :(

IMDEX Asia 2011

2011-05-20T23:17:00.000+08:00

YES! I went for IMDEX Asia 2011 with the sailor! :D
Loved the various warships I got to visit...

Loved even more that the sailor took me around and was my personal guide! ;)

My favourite photo of the visit :)

We then did dinner at Sunset Grill with some other sailors and their girlfriends.
I'm loving such gatherings! ;)

In the midst of his mugging...

2011-05-18T08:28:00.001+08:00

I'm awed by God, to find someone so much like me!
The similarities are just... amusing. ;)

"All My Life, I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I Finally Found You
You're All I'm Thinking Of
I Praise The Lord Above
For Sending Me Your Love
I Cherish Every Hug
I Really Love You..."

What's in it for me? - How to build meaningful relationships in the city?

2011-05-14T23:43:00.003+08:00

Pragmatism is the philosophy which emphasizes the importance of results, consequences, utility and practicality. -William James

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."-Philippians 2:3-4

(1) Check my attitudes in relationships (v3)
(a) Avoid selfish motives (v3a)
Selfish motives mean gaining advantage at somebody's expense or gaining upperhand through selfish underhand.
We need to root out the "What's in it for me?" attitude. (James 3:16, Psalm 119:36)

(b) Value people for who they are (v3b)
We cannot value people when we constantly think we are the greatest.
Humility is not degrading ourselves. it is the appreciation of God's work in us.
We will never be able to value others until we know how valuable we are to God, because people who don't know how valuable they are end up "de-valuing" others.
Jesus knew His identity and His destination, hence He could serve other people.
There are 3 types of people:
1. background people - people in the 'backdrop', people we don't notice
2. machine people - people who have functions in our lives, like the bus drivers, the canteen staff, etc...
3. people-people - people we know personally, deeply; we know more and more of them as we walk with God more.

(2) See the interest of others (v4)
Change the "What's in it for me?" attitude to a "How can I serve you?" attitude.
Naturally speaking, when we share, we seem to lose out; but supernaturally speaking, we gain.
The more we learn to give our lives, the more we find our lives!
Value people, put other people's interests before self.
When we worship Jesus more and more, we become more like Him.

Flame engulfed

2011-05-14T12:10:00.000+08:00

This was what I just did after I got the envelope last night...

Yes, everything in that envelope was engulfed in flames.

"...You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn..."

The past haunts...

2011-05-13T23:41:00.002+08:00

This welcomed me when I got home:

It was sent from Canada! -gasps-
The past returns to haunt.

I hesitated on opening it - I didn't want the floodgates of emotions to be opened.
I didn't open it.
I went to wash up, and prayed that God would give me strength and wisdom to view the contents in that envelope.
I opened the envelope and viewed the contents.
Indeed, God gave me strength - I did not shatter; God gave me wisdom - I read how much I wanted to make things work and make him stay.

‎"Just because the past taps you on the shoulder, doesn't mean you have to look back. That's why the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror!" -@BurnYouUpTweets

I'm gonna burn the contents tomorrow, or shred them on Monday.
Or should I not?
Should I keep them as a reminder to self, to never try so hard for someone who's eventually gonna crush my heart?
Hmmmm...

Yes, my past isn't glamourous, but I know I've tried and tried and tried.
There is nothing to look back on and hang onto except unhappiness.
I'm done being unhappy.

What's there to look forward to?
Everything - happiness and so much more!

Yes, my sailor boyfriend has done so much for me, especially in the past month to make me happy and to keep my heart intact.
I'm not done being happy, I have the rest of my life to be happy! :D

0512

2011-05-12T23:25:00.001+08:00

What the sailor surprised me with...

Yes, I will take that leap of faith with you...

For He promised in Psalm 119:105 that His word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path - we might not know what lies ahead, but we'll look back and be thankful to God for guiding us on our path! :D

Old Airport Road Food Centre

2011-05-09T22:42:00.003+08:00

I went to Macpherson this evening to help sell gf Uniss's iPhone 4, and then headed to Old Airport Road Food Centre for dinner.
It was a 'surprise' trip there thought of by the sailor - told him I needed some good food cuz I was all cramped up and feeling grouchy.
I have never been there, and that kind of shocked him cuz I'm quite a foodie (Yea, I bust most of my money on food. Hur.)

Kidney vermicelli, fried oyster egg and fruit juices - yummy! :)

One thing I love about dining with the sailor - saying grace together. :)

F&F 5

2011-05-08T23:59:00.003+08:00

I was craving Popeye's, so the sailor took me to Popeye's for dinner.

Whee! :)

Watched Fast & Furious 5 too.

Hmmm. I liked the plot, but I think there should be more babes and cars.
Uh, yes, I'm a lady, but what's wrong with checking out babes and cars?! ;)

Oh, we met up with BFF too.
I'm glad BFF 'likes' the sailor :)

Wii or I? - How do I balance being an individual in a community?

2011-05-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

"Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.
And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.
If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?
But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.
If they were all one part, where would the body be?
As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!”
On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,
and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,
while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it,
so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."-1 Corinthians 12:14-26

(1) Affirm that we are all unique individuals (v14-20)
Individualism = honest appreciation that the value of the individual is more important than that of the group; one body, many parts (v14, v20)

(a) Everyone is important (v15-16)
You are important in the Kingdom of God - there is no unimportant person in the kingdom.
Don't compare, you'll become proud or inferior.
We are all created in the image of God, hence we are important.

What's the difference between 'prominence' and 'significance'?
Think about the 'nose' and the 'kidneys' - whether you're prominent or not, you are significant in the eyes of God.
We interpret His words or what we hear differently because He wants to speak to us individually.

(b) Everyone contributes uniquely (v17-20)
'Difference' is different from 'planned difference'.
God does not make mistakes but celebrates the individual.

(2) Recognise that we need one another in a community (v21-26)
We should not be dependent nor independent, we are to be interdependent, cuz God works amongst us.
(a) God wants to teach us 'humility'.
(b) God wants us to 'put our faith to work'.
(c) We need to have empathy in the community (v26) - we need to affirm each other so that we can build the community God wants.

Happy night! :)

2011-05-06T23:59:00.001+08:00

I met some colleagues to chill out in the late afternoon; was supposed to meet them earlier but I was held up with some pending errands.
It was a good session, we needa do such sessions regularly to keep ourselves sane :)

I then met the sailor for dinner at Breko's nearby.

This was all I had cuz I was still quite full from lunch.

We headed to Timbre to meet some other friends to chill more.

Yay, it's another long weekend for me after all! ;)

Good start to my long weekend, loves much :)

'cher can cook! :P

2011-05-06T16:15:00.000+08:00

I left school for home slightly earlier than usual today so that I could bathe Tibbit. :)
Cuz I was starving, I whipped up a meal for myself!

Looks good ey? :P

Questions...

2011-05-06T08:43:00.001+08:00

On 5th December 2010, when I went from here...

To...

Why did I go the distance; fly half way around the world?
For whom/what did I go there for 3.5 weeks for?

Was it in search of love?
Was it in search of happiness?
What?

To deter and to spur...

2011-05-05T11:18:00.001+08:00

From my BFFs on not looking back but continuing to look ahead and move out of my comfort zone -
(1) G: Remember what made you unhappy to deter you;
(2) J: Appreciate what makes you happy to spur you...

Not fine again... :'(

2011-05-04T22:10:00.000+08:00

I hadn't been able to focus all day.
2 possible causes:
(1) PMS
(2) The ex is back, and part of me wishes to have a face-to-face closure, but part of me knows I'll crumble and yet another part of me wishes everything would be fine again.

Obviously everything isn't fine.

I, am obviously not fine now.
I'm crumbling again.
Then again, maybe I'd never picked myself up - I'd always been escaping from it?

follow-up

2011-05-03T23:31:00.000+08:00

The sailor took me out for a dinner of Nasi Ayam Penyet at Lucky Plaza after the follow-up check for my eye.

We then watched 'Slumdog Millionaire' at e2max.
Mid-week break, I enjoyed :)

His promise! :)

2011-05-01T09:21:00.000+08:00

My life group (aka cell group) mate sent this to me this morning...

What a great way to start my week! :)

Shakespeare in the Park! :D

2011-04-30T23:10:00.001+08:00

A passing, intangible comment about a poster I saw was made tangible by the sailor.

He took me to catch Macbeth@FCP after service.
Wow.

Who am I? - My brand new identity in Christ

2011-04-30T18:12:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered who you are?
If you think about it, we do put on different caps at different times of the day.
When I'm in school, I'm a teacher/nanny/nag to my students, I'm a friend to some of my colleagues, I'm an admin staff/event manager/secretary/treasurer...
When I'm at home, I'm a grand-daughter to my grandparents, a daughter to my parents, a sister to my siblings.
I was somebody's girlfriend.

If I shed all these identities, who am I?

Regardless of who you are, be yourself. :)

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not." -Andre Gide

"For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
-Romans 8:14-17

(1) I am a child of God. (v14-16)
When we receive Christ, we become 'adopted' - in Romans culture, an adopted child shares the same blessings, rights and privileges as a biological child.
A child can be born unwanted, but an adopted child is chosen! :)

What are some blessings/rights/privileges of being God's adopted child?

(a) Intimacy with God (v15)
We are not slaves, we're children of God.
Slaves do things by force but children do things out of love;
slaves are pushed from behind but children are led by the front;
slaves are controlled from outside but children are controlled from the inside by the Holy Spirit.

Christianity is not about rules and regulations, but about having a relationship with God, about the love of God and the love for people.
Because God is our Father in Heaven, we obey Him because we want to. :)

(b) Divine influence and guidance (v16)
Be encouraged when He disciplines us.
Divine guidance would be backed up by divine provision.
If we are willing to be moulded by God, He will mould us.

(c) Divine assurance (v16)
Our God is a God of assurances - He promised to be with us through the good times and the bad! :)

(2) I am an heir. (v17)
Although we are adopted, we are successors - we have the same rights and privileges as God's biological son! ;)
And some of us may wonder, what then are we going to inherit?
We'll be free from the bondage of corruption;
we'll inherit the Kingdom of God;
we'll inherit eternal life! :D

We will enter the place of glory eventually; in the meantime, we need to walk on the route of suffering.
Despite the persecutions, we will receive gl o ry; God did not promise that life would be a bed of roses with him, but He promised to walk with us through trials and tribulations. :)

Let's have an analogy for this second point - one day you're informed that Bill Gates would give you all his inheritance if you make your way to him by road. (I'm here in Singapore, it is definitely geographically impossible, but it's an analogy all right...)
With a promise of that amount of inheritance, you're sure to make your way there no matter how arduous the journey would be, no?
Yes, your journey could be a stressful and tiring one, but you will pull through because you know what you will be receiving! ;)

Likewise...
We will not be stressed out by trials and tribulations we face now, we will not just live for now; we'll look far into the future and do things pleasing to God. :)

My worldly identities changes as I take on different roles, but one identity that would never change - I am a child of God! :D
And because I am His daughter, I'll do what I can to glorify Him :)

An 'end'...

2011-04-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

This evening, I went to one 'end' of Singapore - 140 Piccadilly.
It is sooooooooo far away (from my house, that is!)...

I went there for dinner with the sailor.

I love the fried mushroom there! :)
Oh, I didn't try their renowned buffalo wings though, cuz I don't take spicy food. :|
Haa.

It was a good night...
What a good start to the long weekend! ;)

P.S. Oh yes, EL MYE Papers are in, time to start marking soon...

en route?

2011-04-29T14:15:00.001+08:00

Lunch I had in school:

Nasi ayam penyet from Changi Village.
The sailor sent it to school 'en route' to SAFTI from CNB - I found out (from my colleague) when having it in the pantry that going from CNB to SAFTI did not require him to pass by school!
Hmmmm...

healing in progress...

2011-04-27T10:17:00.001+08:00

I cannot get my heart healed with any man.

"Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”" -Luke 18:27

But I know with God, I will be healed! :)

And because man cannot heal my heart, I will not dive into another relationship until He has pieced my heart together. ;)

P.S. Perhaps some of you readers think I'm suddenly over-spiritual and it overwhelms you to see this change in me; well, all I can say is that despite all that I've gone through, I have been really blessed and those blessings were definitely not my work. :)

Thanks for the memories...

2011-04-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

They are fragmenting and fading...

"I'm getting closer to closure..."

It doesn't hurt as much now.
I will be happy soon :)

Love is commitment...

2011-04-26T10:24:00.000+08:00

"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.
-By Stephanie Halmilton

happy day! :)

2011-04-26T08:37:00.001+08:00

I woke up this morning still feeling a bit emo-ish. :(

And then as I took a break from invigilation, I saw a beautiful sunrise.

What a beautiful morning God greeted me with! :)
I know not to fret cuz God wants to give me exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond all that I dare to hope, ask or think. ;)

And He put this song of praise in me - it's been ringing in my head since Good Friday. :D

Danger?

2011-04-26T06:28:00.000+08:00

There’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

gifts to brighten

2011-04-25T12:58:00.002+08:00

Monday morning after a long weekend is usually dreadful. :(

But...

I've got gifts to brighten this Monday morning! :)

没人能把谁的幸福没收。。。

2011-04-24T22:53:00.002+08:00

It's been almost two weeks since the break-up.
The first two nights were really bad, she felt like a wreckage of broken ribs.
Nonetheless, she buried herself with work and let God keep her sane with her company of close friends and colleagues.
Still, there were moments she crumbled.
However, when she did not feel as sad as she should be when she watched "Strangers, again", she knew she was en route to 'recovery'.

And then, the past is back to haunt again.
Her iPhone was down for the whole week and she only had it done up yesterday afternoon; the ex whatsapped her to ask how she was.
Her reply was close-ended, she didn't want to leave any room for follow-ups.
She'd be lying if she said it doesn't hurt to think of him, she doesn't want to think of him and end up in tears - loving shouldn't be so upsetting and tear-jerking.

“Our lives will continue in different directions, becoming strangers again. And everything we shared will become fragmented memories from so long ago. I’ll question if it even really happened. And all that will be left is this – a box of wound up stuff, from a faded period of time when… This stranger, was the most important person in my life…”

She's packed some of his stuff that she borrowed, and would return them tomorrow.
She doesn't want to have any excuse to meet him when he returns.

“。。。分手快乐请你快乐挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱像坐慢车看透撤了心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收你发誓你会活的有笑容
你自信时候真的美多了。。。”

我会快乐，也会和对的相逢! :)

Brunch @ Graze

2011-04-24T14:19:00.000+08:00

Yay, it's Easter Sunday! :)

I had brunch@Graze with the sailor! ;)

Strangers, again...

2011-04-23T15:47:00.005+08:00

Stage 1: Meeting
"I couldn't plan it better even if I'd tried."

Stage 2: The chase
"All I wanted was to know more about her; all I wanted was to hang out with her. The only person I'd wanted to talk to was her. She was the number one priority. And everytime I saw her, butterflies. She was everything that I thought could be perfect in a girl."

Stage 3: Honeymoon
"It was the time when we could finally fully express our affection to each other and do all the things we wanted to do as a couple. It was a dream come true. The girl I wanted to be with so so badly, was finally mine."

"But eventually, the fire cooled and both of us simmered back to normalcy."

Stage 4: Comfortable
"Being comfortable isn't necessarily bad, it's when we could truly be ourselves. But it depends on what you do with that comfort - some use it positively, continuing to work at their relationship and grow together, but others allow it to create distance. And for us, we might've just taken each other for granted."

"Whether it's taking each other for granted or people are changing over time, the bottom line is someone stops trying and the feelings aren't as strong as before. This could happen over a few months or a few years..."

Stage 5: Tolerance
"When we got to this stage, I couldn't believe it and was pretty disappointed. Somehow, the girl I was so crazy about a year ago had turned into someone who isn't that special anymore. It happened so gradually that I didn't even see it coming, but, there we were, just tolerating each other."

"Arguing is one thing, but feeling dissatisfied and unhappy about the relationship is another. We tried various times to try and make changes, to fix things but like so many couples out there, it wasn't enough. It became one of those relationships where it wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. And lemme tell you, that's not a very good way to describe a relationship."

Stage 6: Downhill
"There's not much time left once you're here. The effort to try and make things work just isn't worth it anymore. Problems continue, arguments don't get solved. I don't even really remember what we argued about."

Stage 7: Breaking up
"Happens to everyone at some point. The end of the line. The worst stage ever. I don't know when it will happen, or how, but I hope we can leave it on good, mutual terms, if that's ever truly possible. And this is when the two of us will start a new path, one that leads right back to where we started. Strangers. The change would be so drastic and so blunt, that we'd probably want to get back together right away just to restore what's normal. But this doesn't always happen, and the distance will grow..."

"Eventually, the two of us will move on, we'll find someone new. And even when we both get over the past and try to remain friends, things will never be the same."

"Our lives will continue in different directions, becoming strangers again. And everything we shared will become fragmented memories from so long ago. I'll question if it even really happened. And all that will be left is this - a box of wound up stuff, from a faded period of time when... This stranger, was the most important person in my life..."

Somewhere near the end of Stage 4...
"Do you realise there are only two options for our future together? It's either we break up or we get married?"

"Think we'll get married? ... Do you want to break up with me? ... Well, it's gonna be one or the other. What do you think will happen if we don't end up together? We gonna hate each other? Think we'll keep in touch

"I think that if life separates us and we end up in totally different places, I'll always remember when our parts of life for this period of time and I'll be thankful for that. I hope that wherever you are, you will be thankful too. I think that's the best we can wish for..."

Signatures

2011-04-22T22:34:00.000+08:00

After brunch, we went for Easter Sunday Service at Hope.

Service opened with this song too

:)

Anyway...
Sermon today wasn't like City Harvest's which had a 'play'; we watched an in-house video production about 'Signatures' and gaining acceptance.

(1) We all yearn for acceptance.
Everyone desires acceptance in our lives.
We're all 'hand-made' and special, hence we desire to be accepted.

(2) Acceptance comes with a price.
Think marriage proposal - both parties are paying the price of giving up freedom and trusting spouse with his/her future.
It is easier to accept a stranger than to accept 'family' - you know your family's weaknesses and flaws too well.

(3) Men falter at accepting others.
Men tend to focus on weaknesses and flaws, but God always finds possibilities.
He looks at things differently.
Everyone is God's favourite, He has a biiiiiiig heart! :D
Jesus paid the price for our acceptance.

Ever wondered how the word 'excruciating' was coined?
I am very thankful for Easter Sunday :)

"Woman, why are you weeping?..."

2011-04-22T22:01:00.000+08:00

It's Good Friday! :)
I went for City Harvest's Easter Service and it was amazing! :)

Anyhow, some take-aways...

"Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb
and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.
They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?” “They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.”
At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”"
-John 20:11-15

(1) Are you weeping because of sickness and disease?
Believe that if He can save my life, He can fully heal me!
When Jesus rescues, He heals us totally :)

(2) Are you weeping because of financial burden and debt?
Poverty and failure are curses but Jesus can break it!
God's love can help us overcome our pain and shame.
Jesus is here to give us success in His glory :)

(3) Are you weeping because of emotional despair?

The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart.

Don't despair cuz Jesus turns our mourning into dancing and tears into joy! ;)

(4) Are you weeping because of sin in your soul?
Love, honesty and integrity are rare in your world today.
However, God can destroy the power of sins and death - cuz He conquered death! :D

(3) really struck me and I'm thankful a brother prayed for my emotional healing...
I'm sure everything will be ok soon... :)

寂寞寂寞就好。。。

2011-04-18T00:10:00.002+08:00

“。。。我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好。。。”

我不應該還不放手。。。

2011-04-17T17:31:00.001+08:00

“。。。解脫　是肯承認這是個錯
我不應該還不放手
你有自由走　我有自由好好過
解脫　是懂擦乾淚看以後
找個新方向往前走
這世界遼闊　我總會實現一個夢。。。”

別再為他流淚

2011-04-17T10:32:00.004+08:00

“。。。每段感情都非常珍贵
他的好你就放在心扉
记得有个人曾让你那样的心醉
你笑了照亮夜幕的黑
什么梦都不比你的美
多少年以后想起他还有些体会
那些你已无所谓。。。”

melodramatic

2011-04-13T17:07:00.003+08:00

"...characterized by extravagant action and and emotion..."-dictionary.com

It is a privilege, not a right, to be a flag-bearer.

This afternoon, my graduating batch of cadets kicked up a fuss with me, for pulling the unit's flag bearer out of the colors party just 2 days before the big day.
It looks like times have changed, when cadets think it is a right for them to be in the party.
They were selected to be in the party, that is a privilege.

I wonder what went on in their minds as they challenged me about withdrawing them from the party.

If I'd wanted to "play rank", I'd have donned my uniform and my 'bar' (albeit just one bar) would shut them up...
Can't see the picture?
It's as good as lance corporal defying the sergeants.
Ouch, did that hurt you?
Think about how I felt when my cadets raised their voices, spewed vulgarities, called me names, and even used the 'f' word on me.
Yes, what audacity of the students!

Fortunately (or unfortunately), I do not have any business with them during curriculum time - I do not teach them; so the only interaction I have with this graduating batch is during NCC.
AND it is my second last training with them today, the finale of it all would be this Friday.

Perhaps all they see is a very unreasonable and psychotic Ms Tay.
Perhaps all they see is a Ms Tay who has not done anything for them at all.

I know what I have done for the girls' unit; I know what I have tried to do for the boys.

Oh, but perhaps, even the girls see that I have done nothing for them.
So be it.
I think I would have nothing to do with my graduating cadets by Friday.
You are the ones who will shine during the parade, not me.
Take care and all the best!

broken ribs...

2011-04-11T22:35:00.000+08:00

A broken heart is the worst, It’s like having broken ribs,
nobody can see it, but it hurts every time you breathe.

Yea, 6 years came to a full-stop just like that.

I feel like chopping my flocks, should I? Hmmm...

Time to celebrate singleness?

2011-04-11T13:18:00.001+08:00

And so it happened.
Time to focus on building my relationship with God up.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Whatever - Why I cannot really solve boredom?

2011-03-27T12:17:00.002+08:00

"The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”
What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?
Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say, “Look! This is something new”? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them."
-Ecclesiastes 1:1-11

(1) Recognise that things in life can wear me down. (v4-8)
There are two main points to this - (a) How God made this world and (b) How God made me.

(a) How God made this world - God designed the world to run on cyclical foundations (v4-7)
Think water cycle, carbon cycle, nitrogen cycle...
But why?
Why this design?
Cuz

With predictability, comes security and stability!

(b) How God made me - God created me to yearn for freshness in life (v8)
Sounds like a contradiction?
Not quite...
If life is 'all predictability', it becomes 'boredom';
if life is 'all freshness', it becomes 'eccentricity'.

So, what is God's remedy for us?

(2) Look for freshness that only God can offer. (v9-11)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!-2 Corinthians 5:17
In Greek, 'new' can be 'neos' or 'kainos'.
Simply put, 'neos' means 'new in presentation, same in nature';
but 'kainos' means 'new in nature', never been there'.
'New' in 2 Corinthians 5:17 is 'kainos'.

Why does God create tension in our lives?
So that we will go back to God to have the tension managed.
True freshness is only found in Jesus Christ - adventurous but safe, exciting but secure.

"...He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."-Proverbs 11:25

When you walk with the Holy Spirit, you will never be bored cuz God will bring you to where he wants you to be.
Invite the Holy Spirit to walk with you every moment, let God guide you in what you should say and do everyday. :)

The true call to Discipleship

2011-03-19T23:45:00.000+08:00

Cuz I'm still "half-blind" from my EpiLASIK yesterday, I prayed that woship today would have songs that I knew by heart so that I could still praise God.
And yes, God answered my prayers! :)
I knew 2 out of 4 songs! Hee

2 Corinthians 4:7-10 - We're all blessed to be a blessing! :)

"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.
What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?"
-Luke 9:23-25

(1) True discipleship comes at great personal cost (v23)
What does the cross mean?
We have to take up the cross daily and follow God.

The process of change is difficult but with God, all things are possible.

(2) True discipleship can be counter-intuitive (v24)
"life" in our context is 面子/face/credibility.
The more we try to protect something, the more we'll lose it.
The more we hold on to what we think is right, the more we'll go wrong.
We should do things for His sake.

(3) True discipleship is true greatness (v25)
What is gaining the whole world but losing yourself?

"For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died.
And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
-2 Corinthians 5:14-17

I wanna be a billionaire!

2011-03-12T18:50:00.007+08:00

Sermon today was introduced with the following videos:

"Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world"

"I wanna be a billionaire so fuckin' bad.
Buy all of the things I never had.
Uh.
I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine,
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen."

The main topic for the sermon today was "Consumerism VS Contentment".

"Everyone’s toil is for their mouth, yet their appetite is never satisfied.
What advantage have the wise over fools? What do the poor gain by knowing how to conduct themselves before others?
Better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
-Ecclesiastes 6:7-9

(1) Recognise that I will always desire for more (v7-8)

Even J.D. Rockefeller (first American worth more than a billion dollars), when asked what was enough, replied, "Just a little bit more..."

We are wired to 'desire' more, we're created in God's image for excellence (Genesis 1:26)
However, we should not be judgmental of others, so that others don't feel guilty when they're wealthy.
BUT, when 'sin' enters the picture, the balance is tipped.
We end up pursuing more for self-satisfaction, and this affects our relationship with God and people; we end up allowing things to possess us!

Always ask yourself, "Am I able to live simply?"
Just because we can afford it does not mean we must have it! :)

(2) Focus on enjoying what I already have (v9a)

Enjoy the present instead of enjoying what we wish to have.
Don't be like a dog chasing its own tail - the faster it runs, the faster the tail goes.

Contentment is the anecdote to consumerism.

Kan Cheong Spider Alert!

2011-03-05T18:40:00.002+08:00

"Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.
So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”
Elijah was afraid[a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there,
while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.”
Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.”
He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.
The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.
There he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the LORD came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
The LORD said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram.
Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet.
Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu.
Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”"-1 Kings 19:1-18

How to handle the stress in citiy living

(1) Watch out for danger signs (v1-4, v9-10)
1. Irrational fear
2. Unhealthy isolation, refusing help (v3-4)
3. Depressive thoughts (v4)
4. Self-pity (v9)

We need to take a break if needed.

(2) Take care of the physical health (v5-8)
1. Eat (and drink) well (v5, v7)
2. Rest well : Sleep well to prepare for the day (Genesis 1: 5, 8; Psalm 127:2)
3. Exercise

(3) Clarify my perspective (v11-14, v15-18)
1. God can work through the unspectacular (v11-14, Psalm 121:4)
2. God is in full control in all circumstances (v15-18)

Trust Everything in God.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

-Matthew 11:28

Respond to stress in a Godly manner. :)

God is God, and I am not!

Love's blind

2011-02-26T18:49:00.001+08:00

Anyone can express Godly-sincere love; everyone needs Godly-sincere love.

"My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism.
Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in.
If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,”
have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?
But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court?
Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?
If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.
But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.
For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.
For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,” also said, “You shall not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.
Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom,
because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment."-James 2:1-13

Love is blind to outward appearance (v1-7) - watch your motive in showing love to others, do not practise favouritism for selfish gains, do not judge by mere outward appearance.

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." - Mahatma Gandhi

Love is a criterion that will be judged (v8-13) - the way we love people is a direct relation of our love towards God.

Love hurts

2011-02-20T13:09:00.001+08:00

"In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?
If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.
Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!
They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." -Matthew 12:4-11

Tough love is a sign of caring concern (v4-8) - when someone expresses tough love/talk/rules, the person wants to develop you to a higher level.

Tough love earns genuine respect (v9).

Tough love focuses on the long term benefits (v10-11) - consider short term pains for long term gains.

Home

2011-02-15T09:55:00.022+08:00

We commemorate 'Total Defence Day' today, 15th February.

"...The concept of Total Defence was introduced in 1984 to rally Singaporeans together in the defence of the country. The idea was to draw upon the different strengths and abilities in our society to enhance our defence capability.

Over the years, Total Defence has been adopted as a framework for a comprehensive and integrated response, bringing all Singaporeans together, to deal with all kinds of threats and challenges, whether it is an external threat like global terrorism or a national crisis like SARS.

Total Defence has served Singapore well and made us a stronger nation. It will continue to be relevant and important for Singapore's success.

When Singaporeans take personal responsibility for and get involved in the defence of Singapore, they are playing their part to help keep Singapore strong and secure.

To help Singaporeans understand how they can be involved, Total Defence is divided into five aspects – Military Defence, Civil Defence, Economic Defence, Social Defence and Psychological Defence..." -Home, Keeping It Together

"The "Home" music video is a new arrangement of the well-loved Singaporean classic written by Dick Lee and first sung by Kit Chan. To be launched on 15 February 2011, the music video brings together 39 local singers from across generations including Max Surin, Maggie Teng, Sheik Haikel, Stefanie Sun, JJ Lin, Taufik Batisah, Olivia Ong and more! They are accompanied by the Singapore Symphony Orchestra (SSO).

The music video was directed by regionally-renowned Orion Chou and produced by Full House Communications. Kit Chan, the executive producer of the music video, pulled together long-time collaborators and icons of the local music industry Goh Kheng Long and Dr Sydney Tan as music producer and vocal producer respectively."

My varsity mate, Timothy Huang, is in the video too, with his group, Vocaluptuous. :)

I have some thoughts about Total Defence and Singapore.
However, I can't quite put them into words now.
My thoughts seem to be all over the place...

Kisses for Vday

2011-02-14T13:35:00.000+08:00

I bought these Hershey's Kisses for the 3 classes I teach - 105, 111 and 112.

As of today, I only managed to give them to 112.
Guess it'll be belated gifts for 105 and 111!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! :)

A love that cherishes

2011-02-12T17:57:00.003+08:00

It's Valentine's Day on Monday and so service was about 'relationships' today.

There were 3 take-home points:
(1) A love that cherishes is gracious, is forgiving.
(2) A love that cherishes is not self-centred.
(3) A love that cherishes is committed.

'penfriend'

2011-02-10T15:19:00.002+08:00

In line with reading a passage, 'The Penfriend', I showed students a video of Ryan Halligan, a 13-year-old victim of cyberbullying who committed suicide. (Video can be assessed here.)

With the current technology, bullying is not confined to the school premises.
Bullying follows the victim 'home'.

My main message to my students was for them to be careful who they 'befriend' online, and to be careful what they say/do online; And of course, for them to no be a bully - "Do unto others what you want others to do unto you."

Always put yourself into the other party's shoes before you do anything...

Welcome to my silly life! :D

2011-01-30T13:27:00.000+08:00

That's me with my silly dog on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
I love my silly fluffy dog! :)

impulse

2011-01-27T17:53:00.003+08:00

"She drove out to the airport, studied the departure board and booked a ticket to the first place that took her fancy." -The Girl who Kicked the Hornets' Nest by Stieg Larsson

I'll do this someday...
I will...
Some day...

The art of listening

2011-01-25T23:16:00.003+08:00

I watched Burlesque on Sunday night and was instantaneously awed by the singing.
At the end of the movie, I commented that I'm gonna get the official sound track someday soon.

Guess what happened the next day?

Yes, somebody bought me the OST!
His ability to listen so carefully to what I say scares me quite some bit.

"A small-town girl leaves her hometown to a 'foreign' place to pursue her dreams..."
How much would you do for your dreams?
How far would you go?
It depends on how much you want your dreams to come true.
I dare not take any leap of faith nor dream of anything now.
I can only pray that hearts stay intact; I do not want any heartbreaks, I don't think my heart has any bit left to shatter...

"timeline"

2011-01-23T14:14:00.002+08:00

I've always planned to get married at 25, enjoy 3 years of couplehood and then have my first kid at 28, second kid at 30.
I turn 24 this June and have no significant other half to settle down with.
And yes, I'm pretty cooped up in school and am losing my social circle.
BUT, I'm not worried.
I'm sure God has it all planned out for me, I'm just gonna focus on working my relationship with Him out.
Since 2011 started (albeit just 23 days), I've been going for service every Saturday and will continue to; I will continue looking to Him and growing in His love...
Cuz no one else loves me more than Him! :)

‎"It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you."

Adjective Chain

2011-01-21T11:39:00.001+08:00

Instead of teaching grammar the usual way (i.e. drill and practice), I made use of a game 'Adjective Chain' (credits to the 'All about English' team from Pearson Education South Asia Pte Ltd!)

Anyhow, the game goes like this...
(1) Get the entire class to stand up.
(2) Students would be called out at random.
(3) Once called, they have to provide an adjective each before they are allowed to sit down. [The adjective must be a word that describes a person's physical appearance, personality or feelings (focus of this activity)]
(4) (Catch to this game is that) the adjective provided must begin with the last letter of the adjective given by the previous student. [Challenge students by having them give an adjective that belongs to a different category from the previous word.)

I made use of mywebspiration to 'record' the words as the students give them:

(Click for larger view)

What touched me most about this class was how they thought for each other and helped each other with the words; all to the very last point when there was only one boy standing, and they helped him give a word in unison.
Appreciate their great display of class spirit! :)

I used 'Wordle' to beautifully capture what the students came up with...

P.S. Just a casual sharing of 2 ICT tools I used for the first time. :)

December...

2011-01-17T19:51:00.003+08:00

"...I go back to December all the time..."

'Have you grown up or just older?'

2011-01-13T11:27:00.002+08:00

"IN A few days' time, we're going to leave 2010 behind and welcome a brand-new year.

At this juncture, I would like to pose a question to everyone: "Have we grown a year older or have we grown up by a year?"

Readers who have been following my column would know that I love to embellish my "viewpoints" with stories which I have read. This piece is no different! Take the story of an 87-year-old woman, Rose, who was determined to pursue a university education.

She enrolled in a university and - because of her bubbly personality and affable demeanour - quickly became the campus icon, making friends easily wherever she went.

Rose's sense of humour, coupled with her love for dressing up, went down very well with her much-younger peers.

When invited to speak at the annual football banquet, she gave a memorable and inspiring address.

She said: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. "You have to laugh and find humour every day. You must also have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

"We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! "There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are 19 years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will still turn 20.

"If I am 87 years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will still turn 88.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability.

The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.

"Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

Rose died one week after her graduation, and over 2,000 students turned up at her funeral to pay tribute to the wonderful woman who taught them by example that it is never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Although I never knew Rose personally, reading this inspirational story has certainly stirred up the somewhat-complacent giant in me.

And, being a music man, I can appreciate what Rose meant when she challenged the people around her to live out the lyrics of The Rose, a heartrending ballad made famous by Bette Midler.

The second verse of the song goes: "It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.

"It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. "It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.

"And the soul afraid of dyin' that never learns to live."

This reminds me always to take the bull by its horns and live life with passion - passion fuelled by a determination to find opportunity in change.

May next year signal the start of a new journey for you and me, a journey during which we "grow up" more than we "grow old".

Happy New Year everyone!"
-Tuesday, 28 Dec 2010, my paper, Geoff Tan

When I read this article, it brought to my mind this picture I saw when travelling in Canada.

My caption for this photo on Facebook reads, "I'm growing old, but I'm not too sure if I'm growing up. I think I'm still pretty much a kid."

What struck me the most about this article was the idea of having no regrets; Life is about not having regrets for things you did not do, and not about things you did.
Just yesterday evening, Grandpa exclaimed when he learnt that I'd registered for Class 2B license.
I must admit I was a little taken aback, considering how into bike-riding my family is - my dad, brother, uncles ride bikes!
And then Grandpa said that I wasn't young anymore, he was worried I'd have psychomotor problems with a bike! :|
Anyhow, I am only 23 (going 24), and really, if not now, when?
I have procrastinated the registration for my 2B License since 2008; I finally registered for it on 31st December 2010, when two other teachers went to register for their Class 3A.
I believe I wouldn't regret learning another skill, but I'm sure I would regret if I do not get it. ;)

We only have one life, live it.
The change that you want to see in your life, lies in your hands.
The world can judge, but only we can decide for ourselves what they should see.
Ms Tay never said it would be easy, Ms Tay only said it would happen only if you try.

P.S. I found abovementioned 'The Rose' performed by Bette Midler on YouTube, enjoy! :)

"It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It's the one who wont be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dyin' that never learns to live."

P.S.S. I went through this article in class today, the words in bold are 'vocabulary' words for the students; have hyperlinked them to dictionary.com so that meanings (and pronunciations) could be checked up easily. :)

Don’t wait...

2011-01-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

Another reason why everyone should respect and treasure the seniors – grandparents and parents alike – in their families.
Don’t wait till they have forgotten you before you care.

new year, 'new' walk

2011-01-02T23:09:00.001+08:00

It's a new year and look what I got from a brother for Christmas/New Year...

Yes!!
I received a Precious Moments bible from Daniel as Christmas present.
Awesome gift cuz growing closer to God is top on my list of resolutions for 2011! :)

"Dear God, thank You for loving me. Thank You for this day and the beautiful world I live in. Thank You for family and friends to play and share with. Thank You formy home - for clothes and food and a safe place to be. Thank You for my church and for those who are teaching me. Dear God, help me to do what You want me to do. Forgive me when I do wrong things - when I hurt myself and those around me. Forgive me when I hurt You. Make me want to be the very best that I can be. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen."

Hello 2011!

2011-01-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

I have totally neglected my blog, terrible. :/

Anyhow...
Hello 2011!
My 3 resolutions for the year:
1. Attend service every Saturday so that I grow in His love and guidance
2. Get my Class 2B license
3. Save more money

Just a dream?

2010-12-14T13:41:00.002+08:00

"I was thinkin' about you, thinkin' about me, thinkin' about us, what we gonna be?"
Is it gonna be only just a dream when I open my eyes? Hmmm...

two-way street

2010-12-03T18:24:00.000+08:00

Falling in love is easy, staying in love requires work.
Love is a two way street…

“。。。我願意為你忘記我姓名就算多一秒停留在你懷裡失去世界也不可惜。。。只要你真心拿愛與我回應我什麼都願意為你。。。”

Just the way we are! :D

2010-11-30T13:48:00.002+08:00

I love my buddies and girlfriends cuz they love me the way I am, just like I love them the way they are...
Loves much!

your song

2010-11-30T10:19:00.003+08:00

Somebody loves my new hair, IMMD! :D

"...My gift is my song yeah, and this one's for you...
How wonderful life is while you're in the world..."

I ♥ the Tay Family! :D

2010-11-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

妹 played around with the 'pet' feature on my TX5, with Tibbit as a model.

My baby's absolutely charming. :)

He's sprawled on the floor like a carpet.

We also played around with the smile detector on my cam - 3 different degrees of smile:

Yea, we look crazy but I love these shots pretty much! :)

It's Daddy and Mummy Tay's birthdays - 25th and 22nd Nov respectively - so the family headed out for dinner at ECP.
We had a feast of seafood! :)

Whilst on our way to ECP...

Just the 3 of us.
Daddy and Mummy didn't wanna take any picture, heh.

妹 and I cam-whored as we made our way back to the car.

And when we got back home, I decided to cam-whore with Tibbit baby too :D

He winked! ;)

Isn't Tibbit absolutely cute?? :D

tick tock tick tock tick tick tock!

2010-11-28T16:13:00.001+08:00

OMG OMG OMG!
7 days to US!!!

Time is ticking by fast, I still have much stuff to get ready and to settle! -panics-

1 more month...

2010-11-25T19:26:00.000+08:00

Yay, 1 more month to a fantabulous Christmas in NYC! :)

Santa can you hear me? I have been so good this year... ;)

自由

2010-11-23T22:32:00.000+08:00

“。。。你说爱与不爱你没选择，我说不选择也是选择。
你说受伤怎么办？
我说复合并不难，只要心中有一道光。。。”

Someday...

2010-11-22T00:16:00.001+08:00

"Someday, someway, together we will be baby...
The love we had together just fades away in time.
And now you've got your own world and I guess I've got mine.
But the passion that you planted in the middle of my heart is a passion that will never stop..."

Ringinggg

2010-11-14T22:14:00.002+08:00

I was awed by this video.

And then...

The song's been ringing in my head!

Promise...

2010-11-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

‎"By a thread we're hanging on, in the hope you don't let go.
If you ever leave me, no, I wanna go with you..."

POP bouquet

2010-11-11T23:59:00.001+08:00

This welcomed me when I got home tonight...

Cuz he can't be around for my POP tomorrow.
Thank you, love. :)

Fall...

2010-11-09T20:15:00.002+08:00

...in love.

"...it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you."

害怕

2010-11-07T23:26:00.001+08:00

“。。。我害怕失去你，宁愿沉默不语。。。”

dreams

2010-11-01T22:00:00.001+08:00

“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.”
Then again, “Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.”

Is it a mere feeling of despair? Disappointment?
Or am I just at breaking point and wanna give up?
I don't like this negativity at all. :(

Don't Work. Be hated. Love someone.

2010-10-31T13:13:00.001+08:00

Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.

"I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone."

My thoughts -
Play.
Appreciate the value of silence.
Do right by one’s own convictions.
Fall in love - there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Beachy Tibbit♥

2010-10-24T15:48:00.001+08:00

PSI at 10am was 38, so I took Tibbit to the beach! :)

That's my dear boy who refuses to look at the camera...

AND...

He's uber scared of the water.
It's pretty funny watching him trying to "catch" the waves then retreating when they hit the beach. :P

Isn't he cute?

He's pretty damn smart too, he refused to budge no matter how I coaxed him.

I love my baby!

He made a quick dash for shore and I had to chase after him, haha!

My best friend♥ and I, chilling by the beach. ;)

He tried to search for his squeaky football.

And to his delight, he found it! :)

I tried to coax him to the waters again.

Then, Tibbit makes face at me. =.='''

And obviously, I failed to get him back into the water.

I decide to get some beachy shots of him...
Shot #1

Fail.

Shot #2

Also fail.

Shot #3

Also fail. =.='''

I use the squeaky ball to coax him for a proper shot.

It soon started drizzling, so it's time to bathe him.

My favourite shot of this trip...

I love my baby! :D

Tricia and her "army" 大姐!

2010-10-22T17:57:00.003+08:00

I'm outta school for my NCC Teacher-Officer Course from 18 October to 12 November 2010 at Amoy Quee Camp, so I gotta book in and out everyday in my smart 4. :)

This evening, at Grandma's house, I took a picture with Tricia.

I'm loving this 'regular' lifestyle. :)
Did I make the right decision?
Should I have chosen to sign on to SAF/Navy instead of MOE? :|

How would you feel if...

2010-10-12T07:45:00.002+08:00

"...How would you feel if that was your son? Or your daughter? How would you feel if that was you? He's a person, the same as you and I, with feelings..."

Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.

"...NO white flag..."

2010-09-30T13:11:00.003+08:00

‎88 + 35 + 49 today, another 35(?) tomorrow; finale of 176 on 14th October. -wry smile-
"I won't put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door..."

Yea, let's go Jas, mark away, mark away, mark awayyyyyy!

MY "Great Depression"

2010-09-30T08:50:00.004+08:00

MY "Great Depression" commences in a few hours, when the kids are done with EL Paper I.
Paper II comes in tomorrow. :|
Need these 4 weeks to fly by so I can go slow with life again! :D
Hurry time, please zoom zoom by! ;)

Belated Teachers' Day Dinner

2010-09-17T22:35:00.003+08:00

We finally had our Teachers' Day Dinner today.

That's the only dish I managed to snap a photo of.
Not cuz I was a glutton and ate before I could take a photo, but because I was the emcee (together with G Kaur and B Lim).

And cuz I was emcee-ing, I didn't manage to cam-whore. :(

This is the last photo I've got for the evening. :(

Oh, the Beginning Teachers (and new staff to QSS) did a dance.
Each of us got someone to join us in the dance.
AND, what made the night even better was that we managed to get everyone to do the dance as a closing! :)
I love everybody's spontaneity!! :D

Oh, love this photo too.

With Adam and Kadir.
Don't we three look so cute standing at the same height? :P